The secret to confidence and clarity?

Start messy, adjust as you go. Every big moment in my life started with uncertainty.

Most people misunderstand confidence. How many times have you heard, “Just act confident, and you’ll be fine,” before an exam, presentation, or important meeting? But confidence isn’t something you can fake. It’s not an outfit you can slip into when you need it, nor is it a feeling that just appears out of nowhere.

For the first half of my life, I constantly struggled with confidence. I never felt confident, even though people told me I had every reason to be—they saw everything going well, and that I was doing a great job. But I couldn’t understand why I didn’t feel it.

It took a long time to figure out that confidence doesn’t come from doing things that feel easy or natural. If you never step outside your comfort zone, no matter how well you do the things you’re good at, you won’t truly feel confident.

Confidence Starts with Discomfort

Real confidence begins where comfort ends. It’s built in moments of challenge, mistakes, and growth.

Mel Robbins has a great way of putting it: “Confidence isn’t a feeling—it’s the willingness to try.”

Trying something new. Something you’re not sure you’ll be good at. Something with an uncertain outcome. Maybe it works out, maybe it doesn’t. But when you take that step, you learn, adapt, and grow. Confidence is trusting yourself to figure it out—or to take the lesson and keep going.

But don’t misunderstand: confidence doesn’t mean blindly diving into risky or foolish situations.

I first saw confidence in action through my husband. He’s a creative thinker who thrives on building things, and over the years, he’s taken on projects he’d never tackled before. His approach? “Let’s try it and figure it out as we go.”

Every time, he’s created something incredible—whether it’s a commercial, a brand identity, a bar, or even a clothing line. Today, he’s winning international awards, but a decade ago, he was a completely different person. What made the difference? He was willing to try.

Feeling ready never comes

A survey by the Global Entrepreneurship Monitor revealed that over 40% of entrepreneurs admitted to feeling unready when they launched their ventures.

However, the same survey found that a significant 80% of entrepreneurs gained both clarity and confidence through trial and error.

Looking back, so many of my biggest leaps started with uncertainty.

• When I took on the role of leading a social media team at an agency.

• When I launched my first blog, which completely changed the course of my career.

• When I became a freelancer, without realizing how many challenges I’d face.

• When I started my podcast and YouTube channel.

• When I stepped onto stages to give presentations and workshops.

One moment that stands out is naming my Hungarian business, But You’re Ready. I had spent months planning, second-guessing, and waiting to feel “ready.” Eventually, I told myself: You’re ready enough. Stop waiting for confidence or clarity to appear—it’s time to take action.

Psychologists have identified the "confidence-competence loop," which shows that taking action, even without full confidence, builds competence, which in turn boosts confidence.

Clarity Comes from Action

Clarity is confidence’s sister. It doesn’t come without action. You can only figure things out while you’re doing them. You can’t prepare for every possible scenario, and you can’t know what something feels like until you actually do it.

For a long time, I ignored my intuition, thinking that being “rational” and perfectly prepared was the key to success. But the real world doesn’t work like that. Success comes from trying, making mistakes, learning, and trying again.

Unfortunately, school doesn’t teach us how to fail—or how to learn from those failures.

One of the most effective ways to build confidence and clarity is by focusing on small, achievable steps. According to a Harvard Business Review article, "small wins" play a crucial role in creating momentum. When you tackle a manageable task and see it through, the progress gives you a tangible sense of achievement. This success not only boosts your confidence but also provides the clarity needed to take the next step.

Instead of waiting to feel ready or aiming for perfection, breaking goals into smaller actions helps you stay motivated, learn as you go, and build a foundation of trust in your ability to adapt and succeed. Each small win compounds over time, transforming uncertainty into growth.

If you want to build confidence, gain clarity, and find your purpose or niche in 2025, start doing. You’ve probably filled notebooks with plans already, enough of that.

It’s time to take a step.

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